Carla Zikursh: Today is September 22, 2010. My name is Carla Zikursh, and I’ll be interviewing Rhonda Runyon, wife of Kevin Runyon of the Ohio National Guard. The interview is being conducted at the Ohio Historical Center in Columbus, Ohio as part of an oral history project by the Ohio Historical Society to preserve the stories and experiences of servicemen and their family members for future generations. So for the record, would you say and spell your full name.
Rhonda Watt: Rhonda Jo Watt. R-H-O-N-D-A J-O W-A-T-T.
Z: So you didn’t actually take his name, did you?
W: I did not.
Z: Aha, I’ve made a mistake already, dear me. So, ah, the next question, which was, what’s your maiden name?
W: Yeah, still Watt.
Z: That’s nice that you did that, ‘cause so many people hyphenate or something. So tell me a little bit about yourself, maybe where you grew up, a little about your parents or any siblings you might have.
W: I was born in Columbus. My father was a plumbing contractor, and my mother was a stay-at-home mom. We moved out to the country in sixth grade, so I grew up mostly in Sunbury. We have twelve acres, a horse, and a pretty calm, quiet lifestyle. I decided I wanted to become a nurse and went into town to go to nursing school, and that’s where I met Kevin. I do have one sister who’s younger than me and two brothers who are also younger than me.
Z: Where did you go to school to get your nursing degree?
W: Columbus State Community College.
Z: And then you moved to Columbus?
W: Mhmm.
Z: And when did you meet Kevin?
W: At Columbus State; that would have been in 1992 maybe.
Z: And how long did you date before you got married?
W: Maybe three years.
Z: Not too long; just about right.
W: Yeah
Z: And how did you guys meet?
W: We met in Anatomy class.
Z: What was he taking Anatomy class for?
W: He was going to become a medic.
Z: So you shared something in common.
W: Yes, but I told him that I didn’t think medics would make very good husbands and that he should consider another field, and actually, he changed his major to nursing and eventually did become a nurse, so he is a nurse for his real life, but he’s a medic in the Army.
Z: And so what does he do in his real life?
W: He is the infection control manager for the state of Ohio Department of Corrections.
Z: Wow, that’s pretty cool. How long has he been doing that?
W: I don’t know. Maybe eight years.
Z: That’s a long time. And so what did you end up doing with your degree?
W: I got certified in orthopedics and went to work for an orthopedic physician.
Z: Do you like it?
W: Love it.
Z: How long have you been doing that for?
W: Since I graduated, so that would be 14 years now.
Z: Wow. And so was Kevin in the military when you got married?
W: He was Active Duty when we got married.
Z: How did you feel about that?
W: I can remember early in our conversations about him saying that he thought to die for your country was the greatest honor, and I just kept saying over and over, “That doesn’t even make sense. You’re dead.” I mean, you’re just dead. Whatever. It just doesn’t make sense to me. He, I think eventually, got to that point where he wasn’t quite so enamored with the Army, but it took a while.
Z: So what was your impression of the military; what were your feelings of the military before you met him?
W: Less than impressed. I’m still not entirely impressed. I prefer all of the servicemen and women to stay home.
Z: Well, don’t we all.
W: Yeah.
Z: So if he was Active Duty you said, he was in the Army, right?
W: Yeah, just for a little bit, and then he went to National Guard.
Z: Do you know why he switched to National Guard?
W: So he could stay home with me.
Z: Nice. Very nice. And so when was it that he switched to National Guard?
W: During his three year tour—some point during that—my father died, and when he died suddenly, I said, “I’m not leaving this area ‘cause this is where my family is,” and he said, “Okay then we’ll stay here.” Because we had considered doing the whole military life and me traveling around with him, but once that happened, we decided we wanted to put down roots and stay home.
Z: And did you have kids by that point?
W: No.
Z: So he’s been in the National Guard ever since?
W: Yes.
Z: And what does he do in the National Guard?
W: He is the NCOIC, so the Noncommissioned Officer in Charge of the medical detachment. I don’t remember what the unit number is now.
Z: How often does he have to go away for work?
W: He just came back from Serbia, and he was gone there for about nine days, but typically it’s a weekend a month. But sometimes he’ll split it up and do a Saturday one weekend and a Sunday the next weekend. The unit that he works for drills every weekend, so he kind of likes to have a presence every weekend a little bit.
Z: And is it easier for you, him being in the Guard rather than in the full military?
W: Absolutely. But there’s still a whole level of contingency or emergency that seems to come up, maybe more with the Guard than the active military.
Z: Has he had to go away suddenly for the state active duty when he gets called?
W: Yes, he’s been away for hurricanes, and floods, and ice storms.
Z: And how long does he typically get called away for in those circumstances?
W: Don’t know.
Z: That’s got to be hard. From my understanding, that’s a sudden sort of thing.
W: Absolutely, like Christmas Eve. My children were probably five and three maybe.
Z: And how do the kids handle that? Dad suddenly has to just leave on Christmas Eve, and he won’t be there Christmas day.
W: We just told them. And luckily, that was the one that year we had all of the packages wrapped, so all I had to do was drag everything up, but normally, we’re scrambling.
Z: So what did you do for Christmas?
W: We just spent it with the rest of my regular family. He missed it all.
Z: That’s got to be hard, for both of you. I mean, he’s missing out.
W: Right, absolutely.
Z: So, let’s see. I feel like we’re jumping around a little. Let’s see. And so your husband, not only has he had to do the Active Duty, and he has to go away for the Guard to Serbia for a few days and whatnot or other places, he’s actually been deployed, hasn’t he?
W: Correct.
Z: And where did he go?
W: Iraq.
Z: And how long was he there?
W: I think he was in country for a year, but he was gone for 16 months because they had to train up and down, so he would be in Wisconsin or Illinois or something before and after.
Z: And how old were the kids at this point?
W: Oliver was in Kindergarten, and Victor was in second grade.
Z: And so when he got the call to go up, did you tell the kids right away?
W: No, we waited till it got closer.
Z: And did they understand?
W: Yeah, they understood.
Z: And how was that 16 months with dad gone? How did they handle that?
W: Lot of tears.
Z: So what kind of preparations did the family need to take before he left?
W: Before he left, we got an au pair. We selected her and interviewed her, but she wasn’t able to come until after he left, so there was probably about three or four weeks there that I was on my own with just the kids and my job. And it was a great day getting her off the airplane. We were very excited.
Z: Where was she from?
W: She’s from Brazil.
Z: And she came all the way up here just for that?
W: Yes.
Z: And she stayed the whole time?
W: She stayed the whole time and then even extended and stayed a little bit after, even when Kevin was home.
Z: Wow.
W: She became a total member of our family.
Z: Did she live with you?
W: She did, absolutely.
Z: Wow. And so I would assume that with your husband gone, there’s all sorts of new responsibilities you have to take on.
W: Yes.
Z: What kind of responsibilities might those have been?
W: Just taking out the trash, all those little everyday things.
Z: What was your—
W: Kariné
Z: Kariné, and so she helped with all of these things?
W: Yes.
Z: Was your family supportive?
W: Yes, my mom is in Sunbury, as is both my brothers and their families, and then my sister’s just in Plain City. And then my mother-in-law’s in Newark; my mother-in-law was a godsend. She was very, very helpful.
Z: Sunbury’s kind of far north from the center of Columbus. How far away is it from you?
W: Twenty minutes.
Z: That’s not bad.
W: Yeah.
Z: What kinds of changes in your sort of everyday activities did you need to make because he was gone? I mean, besides the small household chores and things.
W: Being ultimately the only one responsible for the whole house. I mean, Kariné did a huge amount of help, but every big decision came to me, and typically me only.
Z: What would happen if there was some sort of hardship or something would break?
W: Thankfully my brothers are very, very good with their hands. They have construction companies, so they took care of me on that aspect without any problem at all. In fact, my bothers helped other soldiers’ wives. I would hear somebody else had a plumbing issue, and we would send my brother to their home to take care of that.
Z: Did you have a lot of other military wives that you were friends with?
W: Maybe four of them that I was tight with. We’d get together about once a month and have dinner.
Z: And help each other out.
W: Yeah, commiserate.
Z: How often did you get to talk to your husband while he was away?
W: We would instant message a lot. I hardly ever talked to him on the phone because the delay in the phone line is so irritating to me, I can’t stand to have a conversation. There’s no rhythm to it because the delay is so long. In fact, he called me on my birthday right before I was running a race, so it was like six in the morning, and I had no idea why my phone was ringing, and I picked it up, and I didn’t even recognize his voice ‘cause it had been that long since we talked. I mean, we communicated. We just hadn’t talked.
Z: So what other kinds of communication besides instant messaging?
W: Lots of instant messaging. That was when text just started to become popular, and he would get on his computer and send texts to my phone. So that was very nice to be at a party or something and be able to tell him a little bit about what was going on or who I was with.
Z: Was it every day almost?
W: Yes. There’d be times where he would say, “I’m going to an outlying facility, and I won’t be in communication for three days. Don’t worry.” But for the most part, it was pretty frequent.
Z: It’s a lot different than World War II when they could only write home.
W: I couldn’t even imagine how much different, how long it would take to get the communication back and forth. I mean, I could simply say, “I am withdrawing four thousand dollars from the checking account to buy this,” and he wouldn’t know.
Z: Do you think that it might have been distracting for him communicating so much?
W: Possibly.
Z: Do you think that his deployment had any sort of effect on his or your mental or physical well-being, or the kids for that matter?
W: I think the kids were fine. I think Kevin definitely has PTSD [Post traumatic stress disorder]; there have been definite signs and symptoms that I’ve seen of him. I probably have some.
Z: Has he talked about it at all?
W: A little bit. It goes in waves. It seems like something will trigger it, and he’ll talk about it a little bit more, and then he won’t talk about it for a long time.
Z: What did he do while he was there?
W: He ran a medical aid station, actually three of them.
Z: Do you know what that entailed? What did that mean he was doing?
W: Basically like running an emergency room, a lot young soldiers dying.
Z: And he was in charge?
W: Yeah, and I know he was trying to protect some of his own soldiers from seeing the worst of it, and he would jump in on cases so that they didn’t have to.
Z: Were you ever worried that he was in a combat area that he might be in danger that way?
W: Absolutely. His base got hit while he was there.
Z: Wow. And so how did you find out?
W: He told me, like, the next day that he had a really rough night. Actually, I don’t think he told me that it was truly hit until he had come all the way home, but he told me it was a really rough night.
Z: Did he receive any medals or anything that you can think of?
W: He did. He received a bronze star.
Z: Do you know what that’s for? No? It’s fine. I just wondered if there was some sort of certain act that happened.
W: I think it was for a mass casualty evacuation plan and implementation.
Z: How did you find out that it was finally over, and he was coming home?
W: I’m sure through one of the wives or from the family support group set the dates and everything. It actually ended up being on his 40th birthday that he got to come home.
Z: Did you have a party for him?
W: Oh yeah. I think he was a little bit overwhelmed at the party.
Z: Where did you first get to meet with him when he got back?
W: At a high school in Grove City [Ohio]. They had a ceremony. All the soldiers got off the buses and were attacked.
Z: And was the whole family there then?
W: Yes, and lots of cousins, and aunts, and uncles.
Z: What kind of a ceremony was it?
W: A long one. They started the ceremony, and then they did a break, and we could get cookies and coffee, and then go back in for more. And we’re all just—
Z: “What are they doing?”
W: Exactly. We’re like, “Can’t we just take these men and women home?” It was very frustrating, but that was the whole bureaucracy of the Army.
Z: Are they issuing awards?
W: A few, some speeches, some congressmen, not even congressmen, but their stand-ins. It was insane.
Z: And you just want to—
W: And you can’t just grab them and say, “We’re leaving,” because there’s some decorum that needs to be maintained.
Z: And then afterwards, you had the party.
W: Yeah.
Z: That was a long day.
W: Very long day.
Z: So did your husband make any friends while he was there that he still keeps contact with?
W: Yeah, but most of them were friends he had beforehand. Now, I know he met some friends from another unit that he would play poker with a lot in the evening, but I don’t think he keeps in contact with any of them any longer.
Z: So do you still keep in contact with those wives that you were friends with?
W: Absolutely, yeah.
Z: And have their husbands been affected by the deployment?
W: Yes.
Z: What do they talk about when you guys get together?
W: We talk about all the same things—the sadness, the turn around and catch your husband in the closet, crying on the floor. “I thought you went in there to get a blue shirt. What are you doing?”
Z: When did he get back?
W: It would have been September ’07 [2007].
Z: So three years. And he still—
W: Still. Maybe even more so now than before. I don’t know if it’s just taken longer to kind of come to the surface or—
Z: So do you guys go to family counseling, or does he go?
W: He goes to counseling, yeah.
Z: That’s good. So how do the boys handle their father’s, kind of, change in emotional well-being?
W: I don’t really think they see it at all. They’re just boys. But they no longer want to be in the Army. When they were younger, they definitely did until he was deployed. They still will play some Army games, but they have no desire to make it a career.
Z: How old are they now?
W: Nine and eleven.
Z: Nine and eleven. What is that—second and third grade?
W: Sixth and forth grade.
Z: Sixth and fourth grade, good lord. Kids keep getting younger and younger. So what kind of problems have you faced being a military wife?
W: Definitely, I struggle with the bureaucracy of it all. I work in a private practice, and it’s a small group, and we’re very quick to make decisions, and we’re quick to respond and change plans, and I can‘t seem to get anywhere with the Army. Many times—even something as simple as an ID card will become a huge mess because one form is missing, or something’s not in this computer system that should be. It’s just crazy.
Z: I know the National Guard has—I can’t remember what it’s called exactly—the Brigade Readiness. Do you know what that’s called?
W: No
Z: Have you taken advantage of that group at all?
W: No, we have Family Readiness group, and that’s where I met some of the women at that I know. And before there’s a deployment, they do a really nice job of getting the ID guys there, and they make your ID cards and make sure you have an updated will and a power of attorneys and that kind of that. That’s all taken care of for the most part. But now that we’re just in regular weekend, we have to go to DSCC [Defense Supply Center Columbus] and then you can get on base in order to get the ID card. It’s just weird.
Z: So the Family Readiness only helps while they’re on deployment?
W: Correct. Or while you’re getting geared up to deployment, and then afterwards, they’re pretty much just a party committee.
Z: So that’s not very helpful.
W: For the most part, I don’t need very much from the Army. I can rely on my family and friends to help for most of the things.
Z: Have you or your husband done anything to kind of preserve the history of his experiences at all so that the boys know what he went through?
W: We have some CDs that he had made, and we hadn’t really thought of it that way, but I’m sure we’re going to start piling them up and putting them all in one spot
Z: What’s on the CDs?
W: Different pictures. There’s a video clip. At one point, he came home halfway through his deployment, and the children didn’t know he was coming. So we have it all on video, and they were very surprised when he walked through the door.
Z: How was he able to come home?
W: They get a leave at one point during their—a two-week leave. Actually, that was the only time I had to take him myself to the airport. Typically when he’s leaving, I ask someone else to drive him because I don’t trust myself to drive home. I’m afraid I’ll wreck or something, so typically my brother drives him to and from the airport, but this one time, I drove him back to the airport to go back to Iraq, and he called me about an hour later saying, “Slow down. 24 more hours. Come pick me back up.” I said, “Okay.” It was kind of nice to get an extra day.
Z: Yeah, you got a little present. So I know you mentioned this a little earlier, and we talked about how you’re kind of feelings and impressions towards the military—how they haven’t really changed, but they must have changed a little. You had so much experience with military. You know more about it now. So what do you think about the military now that you know?
W: I think that we have done a very nice job with the military—my family—utilizing every single benefit that’s been available to us. All of the education benefits he’s exhausted. And I do see other families leaving that on the table, and that kind of concerns me that the military seems to be geared toward lower socioeconomic member, and they might not necessarily use it to get as many advantages as they could to change their station in life and have more control over their lives.
Z: So what are those benefits that he’s taken advantage of then? What did he do?
W: All the grants for education and all that stuff.
Z: So he went back to school?
W: Oh yeah—all of his education has been paid for by the Guard. He doesn’t have any student debt.
Z: So just his Columbus State?
W: His Columbus State; he has a Bachelor’s at Franklin University; he’s working on his Master’s. All of the courses he’s taken, even certification in other things. He kind of takes a lot of classes.
Z: Well you need to in that field. Stay up and current with technology and all that. And how do you feel about America’s involvement in the Middle East?
W: I really don’t know what the solution is, but I still don’t think we’re on the right track. I don’t know how you teach tolerance.
Z: I guess you’re glad, then, that the troops are starting to come home?
W: Absolutely. Unfortunately, a friend that I work with is getting activated, and he leaves, I believe, October 4 [2010].
Z: Where is he being sent?
W: Iraq, for a year.
Z: What does he do?
W: He’s an x-ray tech, and he has a two-year-old and a four-year-old and a fulltime working wife.
Z: So do you think you’ll kind of be able to kind of help her get through things?
W: I think so. I really hope so and intend to do so. I know what a lot of people would say and then not really follow through on, and I don’t want to be in that category.
Z: Do you think you’d be interested in kind of helping more with that family, sort of, getting involved in a group or something?
W: No.
Z: Just your friends?
W: Yeah, very small. Definitely not a group.
Z: So with all these things happening in the Middle East, what do you think is really important that people in the future should know about what’s going on now? The truth or the things that might get left out—or just your feelings about what’s going on now.
W: I guess just that a lot of people that you might not necessarily realize have been affected by this.
Z: What would you like all soldiers to kind of know? What do you think that all soldiers should know from the point of view of the families?
W: Just to be safe, and come home.
Z: So is there anything maybe that you sort of expected we might talk about or that you’d like to talk about? Something I’ve missed?
W: No, I think a couple things that while Kevin was gone, I think our communication got better, so I think that was a plus. I was able to meet Kariné ,and then actually now, her best friend Erica lives with us, so we’ve expanded our family with even a couple more young Brazilian girls, and that’s been fun.
Z: So Kariné still lives with you?
W: No, she is in California now, but we’re in constant contact, and then her best friend Erica’s with us because she goes to college. Some parts of it haven’t been quite so bad. I never would have met these two without them.
Z: Any other positives from the experience?
W: Well, Victor was studying—my children go to an immersion school, so it’s world culture—he was actually studying Brazil the year that Kariné was here, so that was nice that she could make Brazilian candies for him to take into class and stuff like that. I think that’s about it though.
Z: He’s kind of expanding his world view; it was an opportunity that he wouldn’t have had otherwise.
W: Yeah.
Z: So anything more just for the record or anything? No? Well thanks so much, Rhonda, for agreeing to come in and do the interview.
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